You know you're a military wife when...

• The site of US GOVERNMENT on your caller ID no longer freaks you out

• All your husband's fresh white underwear has his "last four" stamped on the waist band

• You know the smell of JP-5

• You laugh at Top Gun. Even harder at Tom Cruise as "Maverick."

• You know that APO isn't a type of dog food

• Your husband's best friends have names like "GULA," "Wookie," "Rat Boy," and "Dancing Bear."

• Suddenly "GULA," Wookie," "Rat Boy," and "Dancing Bear" seem like affectionate nicknames. (Although, probably not to your civilian mother.)

• You've had five different jobs in four years.

• You've had five different addresses in four years.

• You've had five new best friends in four years.

• Luckily you've had the same husband for five years, but you haven't seen him in three.

• You know that "Haze grey and underway" is not a song by Neil Young.

• When your husband announces he's going to use "the head," you no longer smirk and think,
"About time...but I'm still smarter than you."

• You realize that when your husband is on "cruise," he won't be dining with the captain of the Love Boat

• Similarly, you realize your junior husband won't be dining with any captain.

• You know that your husband will eat in the Mess Hall, and you think that's right where he belongs.

• And last, you definitely know you're a military wife when you're sitting in a waiting room without your husband and you're not the least bit jealous of the girl who doesn't know her husband's "last four." (Even if she was thinner and had better skin.) Because you know, without a doubt, that she's got a lot to learn and a long way to go.